Almost but Not Quite Really
by JooseBoxx
Summary: Burt meets Mrs Puckerman instead of Carole. Sparks fly. Now Kurt has to deal with Puck living with him. Except Puck and Noah aren't really the same person. Season One AU; fluff prompt. Multi Parter.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

At first, Kurt was absolutely sure his worst nightmare was being rewritten and played out. The plan had been simple; Dad would go to the Parents Association meeting, Carole Hudson would be there, eyes would meet across the room, sparks would fly, bam! Kurt would have his in with Finn, Finn would realise that Kurt is way more fabulous than Rachel or Quinn combined and then it would just be a matter of time, wouldn't it? The only flaw in his plan had been his bladder. Stupid thing. He left for five minutes. _Five_. And when he comes back, there his Dad is, standing by the snack table, flirting away with a pretty brunette. It would've been perfect, if it had been the right pretty brunette.

Ruth Puckerman is nothing like her son. She's petite and a little on the slim side, plain but not in a boring way. She's well spoken, interesting and funny. Puck has her wit, Kurt can tell, and she's a hard willed woman. Kurt can tell that his Dad likes her, even after just ten minutes of watching them. Tragically, his plan is foiled.

He doesn't _really_ expect it to last. Yes, Ruth is lovely and they both like each other, but they are both single parents and juggling their own family and a relationship is probably nearly impossible, right? Apparently he's wrong.

"Dude, wait. Your mom is dating Kurt's dad?" Kurt isn't sure how Finn found out -probably Carole, since Ruth and Carole still talked even if Finn and Puck weren't exactly friends thanks to Puck sleeping with Finn's girlfriend behind his back.

"Oh, hard luck Puckerman." Kurt feels himself growing warm under the collar. He's not going to blush, because he knows what Santana means by that comment. Mercedes just nudges his shoulder. He's about to say something when Puck, surprisingly, speaks up.

"Shut the fuck up, Satan." And Kurt hadn't mentioned anything to Puck, but he'd half thought about possibly approaching the boy about _maybe_ making things awkward or something for their parents, since he doubted Puck wanted his mother to continue seeing _Kurt's_ dad. "Yeah, Ma's dating Mr Hummel, get the fuck over it. She's fucking _happy_." Kurt doesn't know what that means, but Santana and Finn both back off.

Kurt is moderately wary when his Dad tells him, after a month of dating, that Ruth is coming over for dinner with her kids. Kurt hasn't ever met Puck's little sister, he's heard about her, yes, but never met her. He's a little apprehensive until the doorbell rings and he can hear the soft sound of voices through the door. "Did you give her sugar?"

"No, she had like one juice box, she's just nuts."

"She's not nuts, stop that."

"Ma, she's bonkers."

"Noah, Noah, Noah, can we sit on the lawn chairs? Why're they on the roof? Is that for the roof-fairies? Doesn't Santa hit them when he's bringing presents? Are Mr Hummel and Kurt Jewish like us? Is that why Santa doesn't hit them? Cause they don't have the old perv either?"

"_Sarah!_"

"Noah said it first!"

Kurt opens the door just to stop the conversation and keep from laughing. "Ms Puckerman, Noah, and you must be Sarah."

"Yup, that's me. You have furniture on your roof, it must be hard to get to, cause you're kind of short, do you have a secret hatch to roof? Is this like Satan's place? Can we play ball?" Puck grabs his sister around the mouth, his hand muffling her words even as she keeps talking. And Kurt is suddenly hit with the memory of the lawn furniture just as his Dad approaches.

Ruth and his Dad actually kiss; right there in front of them and Puck moves his hand from Sarah's mouth to her eyes. "_Mother_," Kurt is floored, the grin on Puck's face is nothing like anything he's seen before, and the tone of the comment is just, well, it's teasing. "And in front of the child?" She's shaking his head while Ruth glares and then, taking advantage of Sarah's eyes being covered, flips him the bird.

The whole thing gets a laugh out of Kurt's Dad while Kurt, personally, is wondering if he fell and hit his head. "Burt, this is Noah and Sarah. Kids, Burt." Sarah raises her hand to peel Puck's fingers off her eyes.

"I think we totally got that from all the 'Burt is so nice' and 'Burt is just so sweet' and 'Burt took me here' and 'Burt does this thing where..." Puck's hand went back over Sarah's mouth.

"Moving on."

"Before anyone moves anywhere," his Dad pulls out a hammer, and Puck frowns slightly before taking it and nodding, pushing Sarah inside the house.

"If it starts to storm, I'll protect the television aerial." The door closes behind Puck and the two adults slink off into the kitchen while Sarah stares up at Kurt.

"You were on the football team, weren't you?"

"Um, yes. I was the kicker." Sarah nods, as if everything makes sense from just that one comment.

"Noah only breaks out the crazy shit when he's trying to impress people. He's never actually nailed anything to a roof though. I can't believe you don't want to keep that. There's even a strip of fake grass to play golf!" It seems that, since Puck is partial care giver to Sarah, she's a lot like her older brother -only in a sweet, seven year old girl shell.

Puck gets all the furniture off the roof -apparently there's a trick to it, because Kurt and Burt never managed to move a thing when they tried- and then promptly falls off the roof. Kurt's a little surprised that Sarah and Ruth take it so well. "Um, shouldn't we- I mean-" Kurt takes comfort that his Dad is as equally shocked.

"Oh, no, he does that all the time." Sarah waves her hand. "We've got a deck chair on our roof, but he bolted that down. Noah's like, imperious or something."

"Impervious, brat. Get a dictionary." Kurt is down the rabbit hole.

He learns a few things that night. Number one, Ruth and his Dad are sickly sweet and rather obviously in love. Number two, Sarah Puckerman is a sneaky, sneaky little devil and fits into Kurt's clothes. Number three, Noah Puckerman and Puck are completely different people. Noah doesn't eat green vegetables, at all. He and Sarah swap food off their plates, much to their mother's annoyance, and then proceed to race until completion. The winner gets the losers desert and apparently, Sarah always wins. Noah also develops table manners that Puck has never displayed. So much so that he makes a point of swallowing anything he's eating before he even thinks to open his mouth.

"Well, they look happy." Kurt has to admit, it might not have been The Plan, but his Dad is happy.

"Ma totally took _ages _to get dressed." The three of them are sitting in the living room while Ruth and Burt talk about something -their next date, going out of town, the left over casserole. "She tried on like five dresses. And every time she changed she had to redo her make-up."

"And then you hid her shoes and she freaked out and had to change again." Kurt sort of envies Noah and Sarah their relationship. He loves his Dad, and he knows there isn't anything he can't tell him, but sometimes he wishes he had a sibling.

But Noah vanishes at school and Puck's back and Puck doesn't even look at Kurt and the boy is left wondering if Puck or Noah really, has some kind of personality disorder. And things are fine, really, they work. Every now and then they do a big dinner night, and Kurt gets to see Noah and not Puck, who still makes vaguely insulting remarks at school, and Sarah 'borrows' items from Kurt's wardrobe and he's sure it's going to be monumentally depleted by the summer thanks to the combined efforts of the Puckerman children.

Really, Kurt thinks this would work out fine for them. Except a few months in, the bombshell is dropped. Burt asked Ruth to move in with him; she said yes.

"Really? Like, all _five _of us?" Sarah is a little enthusiastic, which is good, because Noah and Kurt are just a little surprised. Ruth and Burt assure them that they're actually looking at buying a house, a bigger one for all of them. Kurt is stunned. They want him to share a house with Noah Puckerman; the boy who threw slushies at him, tossed him in dumpsters, shoved him into lockers, nailed furniture to his roof! They're all just meant to live together?

"Noah, sweetie, you're awful quiet." And Kurt knows that if _Puck_ throws a fit over this it won't happen, because Noah and Ruth are painfully close, they're practically friends. And Kurt knows he has a good relationship with his Dad, but Noah talks to Ruth about _everything_.

"'m wondering how I'm gonna get that damn chair off our roof." But of course Noah won't make a scene, because Ruth is happy, Kurt sees that, and Noah's ridiculously invested in his mother's happiness since he's usually the root cause of her displeasure.

It takes four more weeks to find a house big enough ("I am not sharing a room with a _boy_!" "I can still have my own bathroom, right?" "Ma, this says dungeon, not basement, dungeon.") and that they all agree on and then to actually move. Kurt is happy with his room the way it is -paint wise, but Sarah insists that they cover up the pink in her room with purple, so Noah and her paint her room while Ruth and Kurt organise the kitchen and Burt sets up the electrics. Sarah spends the first three nights in their new house sleeping in Noah's room while the paint in hers dries.

Living with Noah and Sarah only shows Kurt just how different Puck is. Because Noah cuts the grass every week, even when it's Kurt's turn, because Kurt gets into sneezing fits from hay fever and complains about a blotchy face. And Noah actually forces Sarah to do her homework, like he does his ever, before she can have any fun with toys. Noah also knows all the songs in Hannah Montana and watches Grey's Anatomy with his mother. Noah actually wears glasses -like milk-bottle thick, black rimmed nerd glasses- but is horribly self-conscious about them that he never goes to school without his contacts in but is fine sitting around the house on the weekend with his glasses on. Noah also has this weird sort of thing where he'll do just about anything Burt asks (and Kurt knows it's something to do with his latent Daddy Issues, so Kurt never presses the matter) but Noah never approaches Burt to do anything, even though Kurt knows he kind of wants to.

The transition is actually kind of easy, to be honest. Sarah still raids Kurt's wardrobe, but now it's easier to make sure she wears it right, looks fabulous and that Kurt gets it back. Ruth is adamant about taking care of Burt and makes the most amazing food that is still healthy for him -although he will point out that Jews are just a little too fond of fried food for his liking. The biggest surprise, of course, is Noah.

Because after a while, he starts seeing Noah at school as well. Like when Ruth makes latkes but Kurt leaves before they're ready and Noah brings them to school for him, "Yo, Kurt, Ma made you some." And Kurt gets his Tupperware box with the fabulous food. And Noah doesn't care that everyone knows they're living together, because apparently, it's none of anyone's business. "Seriously, you're living with the cumguzzler?" Azimio doesn't even try to keep his voice down and Kurt flinches at the slur before raising his head. "Call him that again and I'll rearrange your fuckin' face."

The protectiveness, Kurt didn't expect. Noah does not allow _anyone _to insult Kurt. Not even Santana. The one time she'd said something, he'd pointed out that she had "better watch her tone" if she wanted her rep to remain intact. Mercedes thinks it's a little weird too.

"White Boy is trippin' on something, ain't he?" Kurt just shrugged slightly, because he was starting to see the human side of Noah; the side that ate cereal at midnight, sitting on the sofa listening to his mother talk about her work colleagues, the side that played dinosaur games with Sarah to tire her out before bed, the side that sat in his room sometimes and played guitar for hours on end, the side that looked absolutely adorable first thing in the morning, stumbling to the bathroom in his sweat pants, glasses and nothing else.

The first weekend that their parents go away, Kurt realises he's in trouble. Sarah is at a sleep-over with one of her school friends and Noah has already promised that no, he won't throw a 'raver' and 'wreck' the place, and even if he tried, Kurt would probably rat him out or whatever and he's got more sense than that, okay. So it's just Noah and Kurt, at home, from Friday night until Sunday night and Kurt's worried that Noah will revert to Puck and that Kurt will spend the weekend locked in a closet and that just won't be fun. He doesn't, Noah is still Noah, although he plays his guitar on the sofa in the living room on Saturday morning, and Kurt isn't locked in a closet.

"Do you think they'll get married?" Kurt asks it over lunch, watching reruns of Deadliest Catch with Noah, which he doesn't watch with Kurt's Dad, which he could, but Noah thinks it would be imposing or something (like he's not already _living_ with them).

"What?" Noah just shakes his head, "Can't." Kurt doesn't get it, because they're happy together, and Sarah and Noah and Kurt, they all get along okay and Noah's acting pretty decent -not like he does with Sarah, they aren't really brothers, but Noah doesn't really let anyone push Kurt around anymore either. So Kurt doesn't see what the problem would be if they _wanted_ to get married. "She's still _Mrs _Puckerman."

"What?"

"Dad never divorced her. She's still married to him." Noah doesn't like talking about his father, Sarah doesn't know who the man is and her only experiences with father figures are her big brother and now Burt. "Fucker just took off and never came back, could be dead, could've changed his name, could've made the big time and just never bothered. Ma's got the papers all ready for signing and stuff, but," Noah just shrugged, "can't find him to sign them, can't get divorced."

And Kurt wonders if that bothers Ruth, the fact that she's still basically married to the man who abandoned her and her children. Clearly it bothers Noah. All his little attempts at Burt's approval make startling sense; the chores he does, the times he helps out to make things easier, the way he's trying to make up for what happened with Kurt. Noah has Daddy Issues and Abandonment Issues by the bucket load.

The biggest trouble with the weekend is that Noah doesn't go anywhere. Which means he spends the entire time in a muscle shirt, his sweats and his glasses and Kurt is hit with the urge to climb into Noah's lap and kiss him stupid. Which is, well, stupid. Because Noah will punch him. It is highly inappropriate to develop a crush on your almost-step-brother. Even if he did, does, have a crush on Finn and tried to do the exact same thing. It's more real when he realises that Noah's stupid little habits don't annoy him as much. Like how Noah gets up at the butt crack of dawn just to work out, or the way he always drinks the last of the coffee and _never_refills the pot, or how he sprawls on the sofa regardless of who else is using it, or the way he hums songs under his breath when he's washing dishes. Kurt kind of finds them quirky and cute and endearing.

"Can I shave your mohawk back in?" Kurt expects Noah to say no right off the bat, but he sort of stares.

"Is this a ploy to get me to say okay and then you shave it off?"

"No, but the sides are coming in and you need that done, right? I can do it." Kurt doesn't even know what possessed him to asked, beyond the fact that the sides of Noah's hair were coming in and the mohawk had less of an effect and really, it was growing on Kurt. So, Noah agrees, but swears that if Kurt messes it up, he'll shave _Kurt's _hair, and there is no way Kurt could rock that look.

So they set everything up in the bathroom upstairs and Kurt shaves the back of Noah's head first, "You want to leave the length in the 'hawk?" And Noah does, because it looks better, so Kurt doesn't touch it. But then he reaches a stumbling block, because in order to do the front, he needs to stand between Noah's legs, he hesitates, which makes Noah roll his eyes and pull Kurt forward with a grip on both of Kurt's hips while spreading his thighs to give Kurt space to stand. Kurt takes his time with the front, partially to stay where he is, close to Noah with those hands holding his hips and partially because he's worried he might screw up and shave off part of the mohawk and then Noah will never let him do this again.

When he's finished, he just runs his hands over Noah's hair, the one strip of hair on his head now, and when he gets to the end of it, just at the base of his neck, Noah's head tips back. Kurt realises that Noah _likes _it, and something emboldens him to do it again, this time with more pressure and Noah moans. Kurt feels his breathing speed up, something pushing him further than he's ever pushed himself before.

Noah's head is still tipped back as Kurt moves closer, his eyes are open and Kurt sees Noah's gaze drop to Kurt's lips, so he licks them and closes the distance to press their lips together in a kiss. Noah's eyes flutter shut, his hands sliding up to hold to Kurt's waist instead of his hips while he presses back to Kurt's kiss. It's definitely Noah that deepens it, licking at the line of Kurt's lips and startling the gasp out of him and giving Noah the opportunity to slip his tongue into Kurt's mouth. It might've been that first touch of their tongues that jolted them both from the kiss, Kurt staring wide eyed while Noah licked his bottom lip into his mouth and, wild as it seemed, Kurt had the insane desire to suck on it.

Kurt being Kurt, he fled.

It was bad enough that he'd developed this inappropriate crush on the boy who was, effectively, his step-brother, but this was Noah Puckerman, Puck. The boy who had teased and tormented him for most of their high school lives. And yes, Kurt did know now that this was also the boy who had a geeky streak; who watched The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, not because his sister wanted to watch it, but because he liked it. Who was moderately Star Wars obsessed, owned the original Doctor Who series box sets of DVDs and read books by some author named Christopher Brookmyre with strangely endearing titles (One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night, Boiling a Frog, Be My Enemy (or Fuck This for a Game of Soldiers) and A Snowball in Hell being Noah's favourites). Noah who spoke Yiddish to his grandmother when she called and played buffer when the elderly woman started arguing with Ruth.

Kurt reasoned that it was only probable that he'd become infatuated with this new side of the boy who was rude and arrogant and played up the dumb jock persona. It was just a phase, like with Finn, and Kurt would get over it. It was just taking a long time to happen.

They didn't talk about the kiss, and Noah didn't act all that differently, but Kurt definitely noticed the way he licked his lips when he ran his hand over his mohawk. "Noah, honey, we've run out of Kurt's avocado dip," Kurt's head snapped up from his studying when he heard Ruth's comment, "can you get some cough syrup for Sarah too?" Noah actually just shoves his feet into a pair of shoes a grabs his keys from his mom, nodding his head.

Kurt's avocado dip comes from the specialist organic store on the other side of town. But it's Sarah's birthday weekend and the poor girl is loaded with a chest infection that has her barking like a chainsaw and curled up pathetically on the sofa. And Kurt knew that Noah was a doting big brother, but driving to the opposite end of town for dip is a bit above and beyond. "I'll come with you."

He thinks that it'll be a good chance to talk to Noah about the kiss, and why, obviously, it was a mistake, even if it was amazing and Kurt really wants to do it again, because he heard that first kisses weren't the best, and if it can get better than that, then hell yes he wants to try it. But, they can't, _obviously_. He doesn't actually get around to telling Noah this as they drive; they flit through conversations, what they'd each gotten for Sarah, what they had done for their History project, their glee assignment, thoughts on the upcoming football game. By the time they got to the organic store, they'd talked about anything but the kiss and Kurt was running out of reasons not to bring it up. Noah went into the store, got the dip, went into the drug store three doors down and got Sarah some syrup and then popped into one other store before getting back to the truck. "Here," Noah had a pack of cherry whips in his pocket and one whip in his mouth, handing the bag with all the items over to Kurt as he climbed in to the vehicle. "Got that weird canned coffee that you like."

The weird, canned coffee was a frappuccino coffee blend drink from Starbucks that the store stocked and Kurt didn't _like_ it he _adored_ it; smooth blended coffee and low fat cream. It was just an indulgence that he afforded himself. And apparently, Noah wasn't oblivious to it. "Hey, why'd you get the jocks to back off with the names and dumpster dives and slushies?"

Noah frowns at him over those glasses -and really does he need to wear them and then be ridiculously adorable? "Cause, they're all thinking you're just this fruity little fairy." Kurt raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, yeah, you are kind of a fruity little fairy but you're kinda cool too. Okay?"

"What- What do you mean?"

"I mean the way you know baseball and car stuff, I mean, I can't tell anyone shit about their car, you can fuckin' put it together blindfolded or some shit. And Sarah doesn't shut up about your music, and I know my sister, and she's not a show tune kid, so there's gotta be some dance crap in there. You're all into Mythbusters and you totally get excited every time they blow shit up." Kurt had no idea Noah was paying such close attention to him. Kurt had thought it was because they lived in the same house, that Burt might hear about the bullying and Noah, being the idiot that he was didn't want Burt to think less of him -like he didn't already know about what Puck did, had stopped it for that reason.

"I thought, I mean," Kurt looks at the can in his hand, shrugging slightly, "I thought it was because we were almost brothers or something and, y'know, you were just being _nice_." Noah chuckled around his cherry vine, chewing slowly and his eyes crinkling at the sides with his amusement.

"If I thought of you as a brother my other thoughts would get me locked up in most States." Kurt turned his head to blatantly stare at Noah, who kept his eyes firmly on the road, but Kurt could see the grip on the steering wheel tighten and, wow.

"I um, I know what you mean." It was the weirdest admission of having _feelings_for each other that Kurt could remember hearing, even if he knew that Noah wasn't one to do the feelings thing. "You know," Kurt put his can into the cup holder at the front dash, shifting a little in his seat, "you should wear your glasses more often." More often would be at school. Because Noah always took out his contact lenses when they got home because they irritated his eyes and his glasses were just easier.

"Kurt, they're like five inches thick, I really don't think I'm walking around school like a total dork." Kurt felt that rush of boldness all over again, like at these weird, inconsistent times when Noah actually showed a little vulnerability, a little insecurity, Kurt always felt a little bit of a power rush.

"You don't look like a dork," it was impossible to figure out _why _Noah didn't look like a dork, but the dark jeans and the shirts and t-shirts and glasses, somehow, even with milk-bottle sized glasses, Noah Puckerman still looked disgustingly sexy. "It's hot, in a totally cliché hidden-depth, smart-jock kind of way." Kurt leaned on Noah's shoulder, his breath against Noah's neck and his lips brushing just the shell of Noah's ear. "Then again, maybe you shouldn't, cause I sorta like that no one else knows just how much hotter you can get."

It was all a bit of a blur when Noah pulled them over, slamming the truck into park and wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist to haul him over and fusing their mouths together. And oh my _Gaga_, it's so much better than anything. Noah pulled Kurt until he was straddling Noah's lap and keeps his arm tight around Kurt's waist while he licked through Kurt's mouth, as if he'd been trying to get the taste of the coffee out of there and taste what it was like without it. It was like a drug, like some addicting substance and Kurt just wanted more and more, fingers pushing into the mohawk and mouth opening to Noah and tongue pressing against his just as ardently. They made out on the side of the road for a good ten minutes before either even stopped to think that maybe Sarah could use her cough syrup, and Noah instantly felt like a shitty big brother and Kurt had to laugh and convince him that he really, _really _wasn't.

So they make out a little, and do stupidly domestic stuff, and help each other with glee projects, and Kurt helps Noah with French, and Noah helps Kurt pass gym. They arrange some elaborate date for their respective parents on the six month anniversary of their moving in together, and Kurt can't believe that it's been that long, and since living together is likely to be the closest they get to marriage, it works out well for an anniversary plan. Noah shows are startling romantic side, surprises Kurt with pop-culture references that Kurt would've never expected from him and actually foregoes his contacts one day at school.

"You're wearing your glasses." Noah is resolutely trying to find something in his locker, and Kurt knows he's a little embarrassed by the whole thing, but he's doing it because _Kurt_ told him they were hot. He is being influenced by _Kurt's_ turn ons. This is like, relationship territory or something. "I can't believe you're actually wearing them at school."

"My eyes hurt this morning," Noah mutters the excuse into his locker but Kurt knows better. "It's not a big deal."

"I totally want to just ravage you against the wall right now." It gets a smirk out of Noah, the small raised eyebrow as if to say 'well if you must' and Kurt just nods his head. "Fancy meeting me in the choir room during third?" They both had that free; the choir room will be completely empty because all the other Gleeks have class.

"See you then." And Noah doesn't seem half as self-conscious about his glasses.

"Is that White Boy in glasses?" Kurt just nods, staring after Noah's back, "Damn, I would totally get me some of that."

"Back off sister."

"Seriously? You and Puck? Boy, don't tell me you're crushing on another straight jock?"

"Mercedes, my fabulous partner in crime, not everything is as it seems." Like that straight, bull-headed, small-minded, crass talking, Neanderthal of a jock being a closet geeky sci-fi watching, bisexual, tall glass of smoking hot man. Who is just so totally into Kurt. He can tell.

It's an almost-step-brothers but not quite kind of thing that totally makes their getting it on utterly hot and not really morally questionable at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

**AN: **I lied; more than two parts. Likely four. Maybe five. We'll see. Thank you to everyone for the support; glad you are enjoying the 'what if'.

If you'd told him all this nine months ago, well, you'd be in the hospital eating through a straw if he's really honest. It's not that he has any problem with it, not at all, but it's not exactly what he ever would've expected going on. Like, ever.

Thing was, everything sort of got _better_. Puck's always been pretty adamant that they don't need his Dad -clearly they've gotten by just fine without him. Sarah wouldn't know him if he walked through the front door and Puck would probably punch him if he did. But they were fine, right? Ma got by, he helped out, Sarah was great. Except then Ma started dating, and okay, a little bit weird. Yeah, she'd gone out with a few guys over the years, but they were all just stupid little dates and usually only the one night. There was one memorable time when she'd texted Puck to get him to come and crash the date with Sarah because it was that bad -no really, he had to drag his sister to Breadsticks so that he could glare at the guy who had his hand on his mother's butt. It was an interesting night.

But _Burt_ was different -in a lot of ways. He'd never seen his mother come in from a Parents Association meeting _smiling_. Never. Usually, at those meetings she'd end up saying something and one of the cougars would get all flustered and when she came home he'd get an ear bashing for sleeping with women old enough to be his mother. Not this time, this time she came in talking about this wonderful man who asked her out, and then, when the date actually happened, fuck, Puck thought he'd be peeling her off the ceiling she was that high.

So, it went on like that for a bit, and Puck was cool with it, even if it was Hummel's old man, cause really, his Ma deserved a little bit of decent attention. And Kurt was alright, kinda. Not that Puck would be admitting that then.

Turns out, they might've needed a dad figure, even if it wasn't their Dad. Living with Burt and Kurt -and Sarah made so many jokes about that one night that Puck literally snorted soda out his nose- was a lot easier than Puck would've thought. Burt was cool with a lot of things -like his music and the fact that he had weights in the garage and Sarah adding Hannah Montana and America's Next Top Model onto the TiVo (which, according to Kurt, was not as good as Project Runway, and is what Puck blames on the loss of two of his shirts which Sarah decided to Frankenstein while playing Project Runway herself). And Kurt's pretty okay too. He doesn't do the lawn, because the little diva gets all blotchy and shit and complains, so Puck just does it when it needs it and Kurt takes one of his nights doing dishes without commenting, and all in all they sort of work around the fact that they hate each other.

Until Puck realises that he doesn't actually hate the little diva. Sure, he's always thought Kurt was a stuck up little bitch, but living with him? He's not, really. He watches all these car shows with his Dad and gabs with Puck's Ma about hairstyles and celebrities and stuff that Puck listens to, but isn't in the least bit bothered about. And he doesn't make comment about Puck's really shit vision and need for glasses, which he could, because Puck fucking hates his contacts and gets them out as soon as possible and Kurt just always sees his ridiculous glasses and never passes a remark. And Ma sort of fires off this throwaway comment one night, while he's sitting on the sofa in his sweats, t-shirt and glasses with a bowl of cereal listening to her talk about work -and Burt pretty much told her she was working one job and not two, so pick one and quit the other- when she gets up and leans over to kiss his forehead like she hasn't done since he was seven. "I'm so glad things are working out, that we're sort of like a family now." And Puck would protest that they were a family before, just a smaller one, like Burt and Kurt were a family. Now they're two families making up a bigger house.

But she's actually right. Kurt and Burt were father and son, yes. But it's pretty obvious from just how much Kurt adores Ma that they were missing something. And yeah, Noah tried to step up, but he's got this habit of doing really stupid shit before even thinking and it sort of fucks a lot of stuff up for him and his Ma and they try, but it's not like she's the best at laying down the law because she sort of depends on him a little too much for the adult stuff with Sarah. So, they were missing that male authority figure that might've kept Noah from pretty much doing all the 'Puck' worthy shit that he did.

Burt kinda filled that space.

And 'sort of' being a family meant that Noah didn't feel in the least bit worried about seeing Kurt first thing in the morning before school, before he's had his coffee and is a walking zombie; hair all over the place, sleep filled eyes, rumpled to hell with pillow creases on his face, and Noah totally finding it adorable in a not-so-platonic way. Which, at first, _shit_, but then, not so much.

Because he's started to notice a few things about Kurt, and one of them would be the way he kind of stares at Noah in his glasses. And it's not that 'ha, you are less awesome than you think' it's more the thoughtful stare that Noah hasn't been able to figure out. And then Kurt shaves his mohawk back in and kisses him. And well, Noah's pretty sure he knows what that thoughtful stare might be all about now.

It's cool and Kurt freaks out, he's a little freaked out as well. He's still a little freaked out when his Ma and Burt come back from their little get-away (which Puck knows is just his Ma's way of quietly saying she and Burt are having sex and frankly, he's a little uncomfortable with knowing this) and he's sitting on the sofa again with his cereal.

"Mohawk back?" His Ma has always known that he has a weird thing about his hair -even before it was a mohawk, it was kept short, because it curled, and he hated it. Sarah hated him for having curly hair and her getting boring straight hair. Genetics hated them. "Kurt shave it for you?" He just nodded, because it's obvious, since it's straight.

"Didn't do it in the sink, don't worry." She just laughed and stroked her fingers through it and Noah could only think about when Kurt did it and how good it felt and well, damn.

"Not out on a date or something?"

"Nope," Noah's not so much 'dating' anyone as not so much sleeping with cougars, because it's kind of degrading in a certain way sometimes. "Figured I'd pick up Sarah in the morning, you guys can sleep in." He gets a kiss goodnight from his Ma and a shoulder squeeze from Burt and frankly, it feels more like family than he's ever had before.

It takes Kurt a week to get over the whole kiss thing and then they totally move past it and well, there are much better ways to spend free periods than recoding the hockey player's locker combos. And it's pretty much this weirdly stable relationship. Because they hang out -which confuses some people, and sometimes Sarah tags along for a night out or something, but it's still pretty cool. And the make outs are pretty fucking awesome. So yeah, not something he would've ever expected to happen, but pretty fucking awesome that it did.

So, he wears his glasses a little more often, because it totally gets Kurt all hot and bothered, and he's doing a lot better in class and stuff, because he actually attends -turns out that's half the battle really, and he's pretty sure that everything is sort of on track for once. But that never really lasts, does it. He's standing at his locker, shoving his Chemistry book as far in as he can, as if it'll teach the book a lesson or something, when he hears the voice that he's never forgotten, even after all these years. "Looks like you got something from your mother's side of the family."

He turns around; staring because he's pretty sure he might've just fallen asleep in Chemistry or something, but nope. He hasn't. Of all the places and all the times, who the hell would think that the middle of the school day and the school hall would be a good idea to surprise the son you walked out on eight years ago?

Apparently, his Dad did.

"What, no hug?"

"I swear to anything you think is sacred, step towards me and I will _break_ your smug fucking face." He's pretty sure he would, the fucker better realise that because he highly doubts his Ma would like to explain to the cops just why Puck broke his old man's face. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He's aware of the few stares from the people dumb enough to actually gawk at him; Mercy and Kurt are further down the hall, Finn is along the other side and Rachel somewhere to his left. He's pretty sure he just saw Jacob Ben Israel and his stupid camera, but he's so past caring.

"Stopped by the house, little bit surprised to find a couple of black kids in there." Noah didn't actually know who had bought their old house, only that it had sold -complete with the deck chair on the roof.

"We moved." He is so not interested in having a conversation with this man, he's far more likely to punch him or start yelling and he's trying not to cause a scene but the urge is just getting far greater to let loose. "What the _fuck _are you doing here?" Shouldn't the school like check on this shit? Who the fuck they just let wander in and around and seriously, there could be murderers or sex offenders or piece of shit deadbeat parents.

"Well, when I couldn't find you at home, school was the best place to go. I want to talk to your mother, son."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, so take your piece of shit ass and fuck back off to wherever you've been for the last eight years. We don't need shit from you." Santana and Quinn have appeared in the mass of people and Noah hates that so many people are all up in his shit, and he hates his old man for doing this in the middle of school and he hates the school for not locking it's fucking doors or something. Brittany comes out of a classroom at the end of the hall with Mr Schue and Coach Beiste and at least this will be ended in a minute or two.

"I want to see my daughter," he's still got this stupid pleading look on his face and Puck's fist curls at his side, "I deserve to see her."

"You don't even know her fucking name, you don't deserve shit!" Schue's hand lands on his shoulder just as he takes a step forwards and he knows he's about to let loose. "Get the fuck out of here and stay away from my sister." Sarah doesn't need this jackass, Sarah has him, and Kurt, and Burt, and their Ma and that's all she needs.

"Sir, you're going to have to leave." Schue isn't in the least bit authoritative, but Beiste is, and that's probably what makes his Dad back the fuck off and out of the school and hopefully off the face of the planet. He's not lucky enough for that to happen. "Puck, you okay?" He's not, no, and everyone is standing around staring and Puck just pulls his shoulder away from Schue's grasp and storms out -his storm out isn't nearly as effective as a Rachel Berry storm out, but that's cool, because he's not a pint-sized diva anyway.

He sits on the bleachers, calls his Ma to warn her, calls Burt to tell him and then calls his grandmother because he knows that she sure as shit wants to know where the hell her son has been for eight fucking years, and his Bubbie is a scary woman. Ma says she'll call the school to let him leave early to pick up Sarah and make sure that _he _doesn't get near her and eventually, Kurt slinks out to sit on the bleachers beside him. It's a little tense, mostly because Puck doesn't want to talk about it, but Kurt is just waiting for it.

"I always wondered if he'd ever come back, y'know? If he'd have some excuse or if he'd just waltz in as if he'd just gone to a fucking store in Germany to get those smokes he left to get." He hates that he cares, hates that he's sort of curious, hates that he's feeling all these stupid feelings again. "Seriously, he doesn't even know Sarah's name, he doesn't. Just that she's a little girl. Wouldn't know her if she walked past him in the street. Piece of fucking shit just picked up and left, what the fuck kind of asshole walks out on his pregnant wife and saunters back eight years later like it was nothing? The fuck does he think he is?" Kurt slides closer, leaning against Puck's shoulder and it's the most contact they'd had at school, where people can see, because Kurt wants to be just as private as Noah's gotten about all his shit.

"What did your mom say?" Noah's not sure if Kurt's a little worried about the development here -Burt knows mostly everything about the break down in the Puckerman household, and his Ma is totally in a much better place with Burt than she had ever been with Elijah Puckerman, and frankly, Puck will give his mother a verbal lashing if she even thinks about entertaining that piece of shit and his sorry excuses.

"She's going home, I'm picking up Sarah. I called Burt to let him know." If anything, his Ma was totally going to need Burt's support for this whole thing. "You wanna pick up the brat with me?" Kurt just nodded, giving Puck a little supportive nudge.

So, they pick up Sarah, and the school has been informed that Elijah Puckerman is not allowed near either of his children, and Noah totally makes Kurt drive the long way home so that he can tell if his Dad is following them (it's totally a blessing that his truck is on bricks in Burt's garage right now and their in Kurt's badass Navigator, because there is no way his old man will think _this _is anything Puck could afford). Except Puck and his Ma get into a huge fight right before dinner.

Burt and Kurt are in the kitchen and Sarah's upstairs playing and Puck just can't believe what she's fucking saying. "What the hell do you mean, talk it out? There's nothing to talk out. He's a piece of shit, end of."

"Noah, sweetie, I understand your anger, but this isn't as easy as that."

"Yes it fucking is, you get a lawyer, you serve him with those fucking divorce papers and he gets the fuck out of our lives and stays out this time." Puck's over it, so very over it. He doesn't _need _the old man any more, he's done all his learning. He learned how to tie his laces himself, how to tell the time himself, how to play guitar himself, how to play baseball, football, basketball, all by himself, how to ride his bike, how to pick up chicks, how to drive, how to roll a joint, how to land a fucking base jump. He does not need or want that low-life deadbeat near his family.

"What about Sarah? You don't think she deserves to see him?"

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Carole was the one there when she was born, he doesn't know what she looks like, she doesn't even know who he is."

"She needs a father, Noah."

"She has Burt!" He understands that she's all emotional about this -once upon a time, his mother was in love with a rough around the edges, cocky Elijah Puckerman who had dreams of making it big and having her on his arm to show off. Puck knows he was an accident -not a mistake, an accident- and he totally fucked up all their plans, but when the fuck does that give a guy a reason to bail on them? "He hasn't been here for eight years, he deserves jack fucking shit."

"I wish you wouldn't curse so much."

"I wish you wouldn't be so fucking stupid to think he's suddenly changed or something. He hasn't! He'll be here for a week, maybe two. He'll need money or a place to crash. He's just gonna fuck up again. God, Ma. We're good, we're great. We've got something here and he's just, _fuck_." Why the hell doesn't she get it?

"Noah, I need to see him." Closure, Berry would tell him that it was about closure and maybe he should get his own or whatever, but his Ma is just being stupid. He shakes his head.

"If he comes near me, or I find him near Sarah, I will beat the shit out of him." He doesn't stay for dinner, he just leaves, walks around town in the freezing cold without a jacket and fucking broods. He could totally go and sit outside the 7/11 until someone takes pity on him and buys him a six pack, he could even find a house party to crash and get wasted, but really, he sort of wants to be home right then.

He waits until midnight, climbs up the side of the house and in through his bedroom window. It's not his bedroom he's interested in being in though, he just changes into his sweats and a muscle shirt before heading down the hall towards Kurt's room and letting himself in. Kurt sits up when the door clicks shut and gives a sigh of relief, flipping the covers on his bed back for Noah to climb in and then wrapping himself around Noah's shoulders and chest.

"I hate him."

"I know you do, but your mother doesn't. Gaga only knows why, everything he's put you through." It feels good to have Kurt on his side, sort of. For Kurt not to be telling him that he should talk to his Dad, that him being back might be a chance to reconnect, that they could mend things. Puck doesn't want to, because Sarah needs stable and dependable and awesome, and that's Burt. And Noah is more than fine with Burt being a stand in Dad, because not once, at all, in the last nine months has Burt Hummel let any of them down. And that's not something his deadbeat Dad can say.

He stays mad at his Ma for a whole day. She checks on him in the morning, probably just to make sure he came home, and he completely ignores breakfast, even when Sarah comes up to ask him what's wrong. He and Kurt drive her to school again and Noah is a complete dick to everyone at school; everyone except Mercy, Kurt and Rachel funnily enough. The four of them take a table in the cafeteria for lunch, since Puck slept with Quinn at the start of the year and popped her cherry and then she sort of broke down and told Finn and then he sort of started hating Puck, well, he's not really bothered with the jocks table since then (the general consensus is that if he'll fuck his best friends girlfriend for no reason, no ones girlfriend is safe and really, he's already done most of them). He's filled in on the gossip -really, how does Mercedes know all this, and Rachel tells him about Jacob Ben Israel -and how he tried to blackmail her and finally he has someone he can at least intimidate to hell and back, because seriously, it's creepy and he's known Rachel -and Jewfro- since he was three and shit is not cool (he's totally of the opinion that if he's friends with Mercy and Kurt, he should just bite the bullet and be friends with Berry too).

When Noah, Kurt and Sarah get home, Burt just sort of pulls Kurt and Sarah aside before nodding Noah into the kitchen. His Ma is sitting at the table, sobbing and Noah definitely can't stay mad at her for long. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she moves to cling to his waist, sobbing against his chest and they stay like that until she's hiccuping and sniffing and his shirt has this big wet spot over his heart. "You were right, you were right and I should've known, I should've known all along and," this is another reason he hates his father. The fact that the asshole can reduce his Ma, this strong, independent, awesome woman into a sobbing wreck, it's just not fucking right.

"Fuck 'im." She rolls her eyes, but doesn't comment on the curse. "C'mon Ma, eight years. We might've needed him some of the time, but he was never there, we coped. Now look at us. You and Burt, Ma, Sarah and me have never seen you this happy. And yeah, I know I fuck up, and I do stupid shit, but Christ Ma, you did great with us. We're great because you're fucking awesome and we don't need him for shit. We're good now, we're a family now. He's not part of it." And they are -even if he is still making out with Kurt.

"I called a lawyer today, Hiram Berry,"

"Rachel's Dad?"

"Yeah, he's going to serve the papers tomorrow." Fucking good. The sooner she's divorced from that low-life scum, the better. And yeah, he hears from Rachel that his Dad isn't happy with things, that he's getting his own lawyer to look shit over, but Rachel's Dad is like awesome or something and has this iron clad case and there's the whole abandonment issue and the lack of child support and what not, so Noah's not worried.

"So," him and Kurt sit up on Friday night, letting Burt and his Ma rule the downstairs and pretty much stay out of the way while Sarah is at a Princess Party at Hannah and Daniella's house. "Your mom and dad are getting that divorce." And Noah is aware of this, things are processing. "Dad could ask her to marry him." And he's thought of that too, and frankly, he'd be okay with it.

"We're not related, Kurt. We'd be step-siblings at best, we'd still have different last names and different parents. It's not an issue." Really, Noah wonders why Kurt still cares about what people think, after all this time. "Unless it really matters?"

"I don't think it does," Kurt nuzzles a little into Noah's side, and it's really nice the way they can just do that, without it feeling weird at all. "But maybe,"

"We should tell Burt and Ruth?" It has crossed his mind a few times; telling their respective parents, potentially telling Mercy if she can keep her gossip in, Rachel too. But things usually come up and he just doesn't mention it to Kurt or something. "Yeah, I think so too."

They don't want to do it just yet though, because things are still pretty new and it's sort of comfortable to just lie around in one of their rooms and make out or watch a movie and for Noah to just pet at Kurt's hair or neck or back while Kurt lies over Noah's chest. But it's going to be soon, Noah's pretty sure of that, considering the definite progression of things.

Noah's just hoping that his Ma doesn't freak the everloving fuck out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

Truth be told, Kurt had never really given much thought to the possibility of Noah and Sarah's Dad ever being back in the picture. Sometimes, he forgot that Ruth wasn't a widow like his Dad was, sometimes he forgot that Ruth had a husband still, in all technicalities. Sometimes it was just easier not to think about. The second he'd seen it though, that day in school, Noah standing there, rage and hate and disgust written all over his face, that _man _standing there as if it was just another day, his heart had tightened painfully. Because through the anger and rage he could see the hurt, he could see the pain in Noah's eyes, there were issues that were bound to be dragged up and Noah didn't need them thrown all over the school.

The resoluteness and determination that Noah has to keep Sarah away from her father is endearing and somewhat worrying at the same time. Although Kurt sees how it affects Burt, when Puck tells Ruth that Burt is as good as Sarah's father figure. Noah might not _need _that anymore, but Kurt understands the wish for Sarah to have something like that. He can see it in his Dad when Noah says it, when Ruth and Noah are arguing, "Sarah needs a father," and Noah's instant argument of "She has Burt." Because although Kurt felt oddly possessive of his Dad when things started, he's really noticed how much Burt tries to be a dad to Sarah, and Noah, without overstepping boundaries. It's something that still pushes Noah and Burt from actually bonding, but Sarah just flew right in there to do the father/daughter things with Burt.

It was the first night that Kurt had seen Noah shout at his mother, it was the first night that Ruth had screamed in frustration at her son, it was the first night since the Puckerman family moved in with the Hummel's that they weren't all present for 'family' dinner. But Noah had gone out without his jacket or his phone or his keys, and Burt already asked if Ruth wanted him to go and find the kid. "He'll come home, or go to Finn's. Carole will call if he goes there." Kurt isn't sure if Ruth realises that Noah and Finn aren't talking since Noah slept with Quinn at the start of Sophomore year or if she just assumes they've made up since then -they haven't, Noah doesn't actually _have _anywhere to go. Sarah is the one who unlocks Noah's bedroom window and pushes it open a little bit, she leaves some dinner on a plate on his desk and steals one of his shirts to sleep in.

Kurt stays up all night, waiting for Noah to come home. And at midnight, when the other boy climbs up the side of the house and sneaks in, Kurt holds his breath, trying to figure out if he should go to Noah or if Noah will come to him. He gets his answer when his door opens and Noah slinks in. It's just a relief to have him home, safe and sound, that Kurt doesn't question where he's been, inviting Noah into his bed and leaning in to cuddle the chilled boy.

"I hate him." Noah doesn't talk about his father much, it's clear that Noah thinks very little of the man, and Kurt understands that, he agrees mostly too.

"I know you do, but your mother doesn't. Gaga only knows why, everything he's put you through." He doesn't understand Ruth; she's strong and independent, even with them merging the families, she still holds this persona of being her own woman. Ruth has to be used to being on her own, raising her kids, that she's grown to just depend on herself. And Kurt's seen the way she's slowly starting to depend on his Dad, the way that Sarah turns to Burt for 'dad' stuff, the way that Noah still sort of quietly seeks approval, the way that Burt thinks of both of them as his too. Kurt has seen Ruth realise it, get a little scared and then just roll with it.

Whatever happens with Elijah Puckerman, Kurt hopes that Ruth sees that her children don't need him, that Noah doesn't _want _him. Ruth has done enough on her own to turn her children into capable young people and Kurt is worried that Elijah is going to cut that down, that Ruth will show this side he's never seen up until the argument with Noah that night. The side of her that seems soft to whatever it is about her husband that means she's willing to listen to him.

Noah is quiet all through school, he only riles Finn once when he slings an arm over Rachel at school and Rachel knows he's just playing but Kurt sees Finn get that odd look and frankly, just the fact that Noah is acting like himself is comfort enough. He even gets to blow off steam when he terrifies Jacob Ben Israel over his stalking of Rachel. But then school ends and they head home, with Sarah yammering on about Josie McKee and how Josie has blond hair and blue eyes and everyone loves her but Sarah knows that she's prettier, even if she's got brown hair and brown eyes. And besides, Sarah can clothesline half the boys when they play some game called British Bulldog and that is apparently far more cool that braids. Noah gives Sarah a fist bump, even as Kurt promises to show Sarah how to do braids so that she can be extra cool and know how to do both.

When Kurt's Dad stops them in the sitting room, but nods Noah through to the kitchen, Kurt knows that Ruth's attempt to hear out her husband didn't go well. He avoids eavesdropping until Sarah gives him a look and they both linger close enough to hear everything. "C'mon Ma, eight years. We might've needed him some of the time, but he was never there, we coped. Now look at us. You and Burt, Ma, Sarah and me have never seen you this happy. And yeah, I know I fuck up, and I do stupid shit, but Christ Ma, you did great with us. We're great because you're fucking awesome and we don't need him for shit. We're good now, we're a family now. He's not part of it." Even if it is profanity laced, Kurt can't help but smile while Noah convinces his mother that Elijah Puckerman is a waste of space.

"I called a lawyer today, Hiram Berry,"

"Rachel's Dad?"

"Yeah, he's going to serve the papers tomorrow." It stuns Kurt for a moment, but then he remembers that Ruth's had the papers ready for a long time, clearly she's no longer in love with her husband, it makes sense that she'd file the papers at last, now that her husband has been located. The evening is somewhat tense for a while, Sarah gets herself ready for her Princess Party, taking three of Kurt's tiaras with her, and Noah and Kurt haunt the upstairs to give Ruth and Kurt's Dad space downstairs. "So," Kurt waits for a while before he tries to broach the subject, worrying slightly, "Your mom and dad are getting that divorce. Dad could ask her to marry him." When they started dating, what feels like forever ago, Kurt never really thought he'd get to this point, reach the point where if his Dad asked Noah Puckerman's mother to marry him, Kurt would be okay with it. Kurt is more than okay with it really, his Dad deserves to be happy, and Ruth makes him happy. Kurt would be fine with her being his step-mom. Except that makes Noah his step-brother.

"We're not related, Kurt. We'd be step-siblings at best, we'd still have different last names and different parents. It's not an issue." Kurt has always envied the way Noah doesn't really care about what people think, he does things because he feels like doing them and later, he may or may not regret them, but at the time, it's just because he wants to. Kurt is constantly worried about what people will think. "Unless it really matters?"

"I don't think it does," Kurt nuzzles a little into Noah's side, loving the softness of his shirt and the scent that is just Noah; fabric softener mixed with Noah's cologne and just what Noah smells like. It's clean and fresh with a hint of spice all at the same time. "But maybe," Kurt doesn't want to hide who they are, he doesn't want to cause problems, but he doesn't want to hide what he and Noah have either.

"We should tell Burt and Ruth? Yeah, I think so too." It marks the start of their plan, to feel each other their parents out and see how they'd react. And 'Cedes, and Rachel, and Sarah. It doesn't go smoothly.

Nothing goes smoothly.

The divorce is drawn out; Elijah is contesting some of the terms, he wants access to his children, wants joint custody and Noah breaks his fist on a wall when his mother says he might get it. Kurt tries to feel out Mercedes and her reaction to him maybe seeing something, but her gossip queen comes out and Kurt hedges off to let Puck talk to her about that -not that he believes that will help because Mercedes might've been the one to let slip that Quinn slept with Noah when Quinn accidentally let that information go in glee one day. Rachel knows enough about their lives right now with the divorce being handled by her father -and even though she doesn't talk about it, Kurt knows that Hiram Berry is worried about the outcome now.

Noah just makes things worse, coming in from school one day with his face bleeding. "Oh, _Noah_."

"Could you not screech, Ma." Kurt turns on the tap to wet a cloth while Ruth makes Noah sit down. Burt stays where he is at the far end of the table with Sarah, who stopped colouring in when Noah came in bloody. "I think my ear drum got hammered." Noah's right, his ear is bleeding, his temple is cut, there's the start of a bruise building around his jaw and his lip is split and his knuckles are bruised all over again.

"Noah, when you go getting into fights, you deserve everything you get." Ruth is exasperated, just like Kurt is, even as she gets the peas to put on his jaw and Kurt wipes at the blood around Noah's ear. "Is it painful? We might need to go to the hospital, you might've perforated your ear drum. God, Noah, what was it this time?"

"Bitch later," Puck just sighs, rubbing at his eyes, "Sarah, can you go get my glasses, please?" Sarah gives a nod and runs off, just as Ruth gets a piece of paper towel for Noah to take out the contacts. There's only one. "Lost the other when Azimio cracked his meat-paw into my head. Seriously, that hurt." He's blinking his eyes as Kurt hears Sarah in Noah's room, rooting around his drawers for the glasses. "It's not a huge deal, Beiste was there and so was Sylvester, and she likes Kurt so it's cool. I'll get suspended at worst." The fact that Noah mentions Azimio, Sylvester and the fact that the cheerleading coach's affinity for Kurt would be a helpful factor tells Kurt right then what happened.

"Noah, why were you fighting?"

"Because my team-mates are homophobic assholes who need to keep their judgemental little mouths shut or I will wire them." Kurt watches Noah's jaw clench and he's torn between adoration that Noah would defend him like that, and worry that he's going to get himself hurt worse if he keeps it up. "Karofsky and Adams thought it'd be fun to pass remark, Ma, it wasn't cool, so yeah, I got in a fight, and yeah I probably should've just shut the fuck up because Jesus Christ I cannot see straight, but dude, it's _Kurt_." Kurt can't help it, he strokes his hand over Noah's mohawk in thanks, smiling slightly as he tries to gently wipe away the blood.

"I should ground you."

"Yeah, but we won't." It's the first thing Kurt's Dad has said since Noah came in from practice like the walking wounded. "C'mon Ruth, we want the kids to stick up for each other, punishing him for defending Kurt is just detrimental to that." And Kurt knows his Dad would've done exactly what Noah did if he could've.

"Baby, try and not use your fists so much, okay?" Noah just nods at Ruth's request as Sarah darts into the room with Noah's glasses and slots them on his face.

"You want me to kiss your boo-boos better, y'big baby?"

"I got a boo-boo for you, ya little brat." Sarah yells and giggles all the way up the stairs as Noah chases her out, apparently tended enough that the little girls wild yelling isn't affecting him or he's completely fine with taking the abuse. Kurt sits down at the table, watching Ruth tidy up while biting her lower lip.

"What's wrong?" Both Kurt and his Dad know that Ruth only bites her lip when she's worrying over something.

"Look at him," she waves her hand towards the hall, where they can still hear Sarah and Noah goofing around. "Broken knuckles, bruised face, fights at school. What if they say I can't manage him, what if they take away my custody. Elijah doesn't _want _them, he just wants to hurt me." Kurt sighs, he knew it was too much to hope that they'd get through everything quick and easy. Even if Noah is almost eighteen and will be declared an adult soon, Sarah has a long way to go, and if Mr Puckerman is awarded custody, despite everything, she'll have a long time before she gets to choose.

Later, after Sarah's calmed down and come to help Ruth with dinner, Deadliest Catch is on for Kurt's Dad and Kurt sort of trails up the stairs to find Noah on the floor in his room, finishing his chemistry homework and Call of Duty paused behind him on the television. "What did they say?"

"'m not telling you." Noah doesn't look up from his notes, scribbling whatever he's doing on his notepad and drawing the molecular components.

"Noah, I'm used to it. What did they say?"

"No, okay, because you're used to being called a fairy, or a queer, or a pillow-biting pantywaister. But," Noah took a breath, looking at Kurt and shaking his head, "Just leave it, okay. It's taken care of." It's things like this that make him wonder about their relationship, because Noah is protective to the point of almost getting his jaw unhinged -because Kurt knows that it would've been Karofsky and Azimio, and Noah's fairly well versed at taking care of himself, yes, but both of them are big and just that little bit stronger. Noah may not have gotten his ass kicked, but he certain didn't come out of it as the victor.

"See, here's the thing," Kurt sat down on the floor, leaning in close to Noah just to feel the press of his shoulder, "your mom is freaking out." Noah sighs, dropping his pen and ignoring his chemical equations for a moment, leaning back and pressing in closer to Kurt, "There's a chance your dad might get custody, at least partial, and she's stressing and you're defending my honour -thank you, for that- but it's just making things that little bit harder on her." Kurt hates playing the Ruth card, because there are times when Noah doesn't even look to be the same person because he's making things easier on his mom and it's a total personality turn around. Kurt gets that there's been this weight on Noah's shoulders for far too long, because he had to play the role of co-parent while Ruth was working and he's had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities. Kurt doesn't want to use that to twist Noah to do something, but sometimes it's the only way to stop Noah and his stubborn streak.

"You're right, I'm sorry, but seriously, just drop the Karofsky and Adams stuff, it's dealt with and done." Kurt isn't so sure, "No, really, Coach S. was there and that shit is scary."

True enough, school the following day, even with a stiff moving and bloody Puckerman turning up, Azimio and Karofsky skitter around like wounded field mice. "Oh my God, Noah, what happened?" Rachel and Mercedes do their own mothering, Kurt holding Noah's glasses while Rachel applies arnica cream to Noah's eye to bring down the bruise and Mercedes inspects his ear and hisses in sympathy. Noah tries to bat off their attention, but fails miserably.

"I had to speak with you anyway, Daddy says that you and Sarah have to write out a formal letter detailing whether or not you'd like your parents to share joint custody. It's not exactly a traditional method, but Daddy thinks that the judge preceding over the case would be more swayed by the view points of the children. Considering your father hasn't even met Sarah, it could be a good idea."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"I was going to suggest that you help Sarah with her letter, but maybe Kurt should assist both of you. Profanity is frowned upon in formal writing, Noah." Rachel just gives him a look that states he can argue with her if he wants, but she's already made her point. Mercedes walks down the hall with her arm through Kurt's and Rachel does the same with Noah until they get to glee where everyone detangles and heads inside.

"Can't I just say that he's a fucking deadbeat and I'd sooner punch him than look at him?"

"No, Noah, while I encourage you to express your feelings, violent or otherwise, you need to keep it PG rated. Not PG thirteen, PG." Noah raises his eyebrow as much as the bruising allows and shakes his head.

"This is way too after school special. You know I'll just write whatever and Kurt'll have to take out more than two thirds of it and then it won't make sense. You need those extra shits and fucks to make sense."

Noah tells Ruth about Rachel's Daddy's suggestion later, Sarah instantly wants to write her letting in crayon, just like she does when she's writing to their Bubbie. After dinner, Noah disappears to his room again and Kurt waits until after Project Runway to come and find him. "How far have you gotten?" There are sheets of paper on the bed, a few discarded attempts from what Kurt can tell.

"To whom it may concern." Kurt waits for the rest but Noah just shrugs, "That's it. It feels stupid, you know. I mean, I hate the motherfucker but putting that into words is fucking difficult." Kurt just nods, closing the door and crossing the room to lean against the desk. He's barely gotten to have a look at the piece of paper before Noah's hands pull him into the other boys lap. "This'll help me think better." Kurt laughs as Noah tips his head up for a kiss, hands holding to Kurt's hips to keep him in place while they kiss -softer than they'd usually do, but Noah's lip is still somewhat torn from his fight and Kurt is loath to hurt him.

"What do you remember of your Dad?" Kurt winds his arms around Noah's neck, fingers stroking the base of his mohawk to sooth and calm while Noah considers the question.

"Not a lot. He used to play, the guitar. I spent a really long time ignoring that, because I loved playing and I knew that is was something I shared with him. I just never wanted to go back to that. But Ma kept telling me to go back to it, to enjoy it, made me play so that he couldn't take that from us too." Noah's hands mimicked Kurt's, stroking up Kurt's spine, fingers pressing to each bone. "He used to drink, he'd come in from work, grunt at Ma or whatever and then go out to the bar. I don't know if he spent even half the nights of the week at home." Ruth was always on the go, like she always had to be doing something. Kurt found out just a few months ago that it was more because she was so used to always having something else to do. But Kurt's Dad cleaned up too, he cooked some nights, he did some of the house hold chores. It had just been Kurt and Burt for long enough that they had to. It Ruth could slow down a little. "He never hit us or anything, he just didn't seem to care enough to bother. Once in a while he'd do something like take me and Ma out, y'know? Go to the park or the mall or just hang out at home, it was one of those things that you remember, even through all the bad stuff. Cause there's just a few ones. Never enough though."

Kurt presses another soft kiss to Noah's lips. "What about here?"

"With Burt?" There's a smile, Kurt sees it. "Ma sings in the shower y'know? She's not that good, but you can hear her, right?" Kurt nodded, "She never did that before, ever. Like, I haven't heard her do it at all. Not when he was home, not when Sarah was born. Never. Cause she was always so stressed out and worried and run down. But like, Burt makes her laugh and Sarah slips up and calls him dad," Kurt heard that once, but the expression on her face and his Dad's told him it wasn't the first time. "She used to come and ask me to do that dad shit, y'know. Like helping her with homework or when she had problems at school, or that stupid little brat down the street that kept stealing her damn shoelaces. Even when we first moved in, she did it, until she figured out that she _could_ask Burt. She doesn't know what our Dad looks like, who he is. Throwing her in there is gonna mess her all up again."

"What about you? C'mon Noah, what're your feelings?" While Noah isn't a totally closed book, he's still pretty well sealed. Kurt wasn't foolish enough to believe that living together and being together would suddenly make Noah more likely to share his feelings, but he isn't completely against talking about things.

"I don't want to see him, because we weren't good enough. But with Burt it's like, you don't have to try. I nailed your fucking lawn furniture to the roof and he just made me take it off. He fixed my wreck of a truck completely free of charge because it broke down on the way home from a game and I had to walk nine miles. He's at every football game and I'm not even his kid. He even goes to Sarah's dance recitals and those are boring as hell. He's more like a dad than we've ever had, okay. And y'know, I was always a little jealous of that. Cause everyone knows your Dad is the bomb, okay, he's like super Dad or something. And that being even remotely directed towards me and Sarah? Yeah, I don't want our no-good waste of space old man around when we've got Burt and it doesn't matter if he's ours or yours cause he's just there."

"And you only swore once." So Noah wrote his letter, which was really more of a slew of memories and opinions and Kurt stopped him from swearing too much and then they sealed it in an envelope. It sat on the desk, forgotten, as Noah moved to the bed where Kurt was lying, fiddling with Noah's alarm clock.

"If that doesn't go off tomorrow," the words were spoken as Noah placed kisses along Kurt's throat, tiny nips making Kurt arch into it as Noah's hand slid along Kurt's side, "I'm blaming you." Kurt just smirked as Noah's mouth covered his, the alarm clock falling to the bed while Kurt gripped to Noah's head and pressed his body closer. Lying out on the bed, pressed against each other and sharing lazy, drawn out kisses, always reminded Kurt of just how badly he wanted Noah; the reaction of his body, the sighs he made, the way his skin tingled when Noah ran his hand up under Kurt's clothes. Everything just highlighted how badly he wanted to take things further with Noah, but they were both just that little bit hesitant. Because their parents still didn't know, and Kurt knew they were meant to tell them this week but things just got too out of control and they never got the chance.

"Sarah's away next weekend, isn't she?" Kurt let the last part of his question out with a gasp as Noah bit on the join of Kurt's jaw and neck, just below his ear.

"Yeah, something about Hippopotamus birthday or something. Why?" There was just something nerve tinglingly good about Noah's fingers brushing along Kurt's ribcage, the way each of his fingers skirted over the bones and the way the calluses felt against Kurt's smooth skin.

"Because, I really, really want us to go further than getting off over the clothes," Noah stops his hands, pulling back just slightly, "Like, you know, I want, I mean, I'm ready to-"

"Yeah?" Kurt nodded as Noah licked his bottom lip. They'd both agreed that they'd take things slow -it was the first time for both of them, so it wasn't like they wanted to rush it. At first, Kurt had been apprehensive, because Noah wasn't exactly known for his celibacy; he slept with his best friends girlfriend for Gaga's sake. But they'd settled for make outs, and then progressed to hands doing a little exploring, and occasionally, things got hot and heavy enough that a mutual handjob was in order. But Noah never pushed for more and Kurt just wasn't ready. Until now.

"I want to tell Ruth and Dad first." It didn't feel right, having his first _serious _relationship and hiding it from his father. He'd shared everything, from the day he'd finally built up the courage to come out, he'd never lied to his Dad. He doesn't want to start that with a relationship that feels this important. "So, next weekend, we tell them?"

"Yeah, babe, we tell them." He's not sure if he should worry about Noah's determination or not, but there just seems to be this small hesitation in his boyfriend. And that does worry him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

So he totally gets that he has a temper -it's one of those things he gets from his Dad that he hates, along with his build and his general appearance. His eyes is his mom's side of things, apparently so is willingness to stick around when shit gets difficult, because his Dad just bails while his Ma works her fucking ass off for them. It's not like he means to get into fights, he doesn't, but he's totally at the stage where Kurt is his boy and God help anyone that makes negative remarks about the kid because Puck will go toe to toe with the devil for that kid. It's scary in this sort of committed but kind of private sort of relationship that they've got going on.

But when his Ma freaks out over this whole custody thing and him getting in fights -which is only because his Dad is fighting for custody after not caring for eight years and Puck just needs to punch something- it makes him shut the hell up and just use this annoying little fact that he's become somewhat verbose since he started chilling with Berry. Then again, seeing the confusion and surprise on Azimio's face is worth it.

Writing the letter, which is annoying all by itself, is just fucking difficult. Because he's never been good at this whole sharing feelings thing, he's just never really done it. He grew up with an emotionally detached father -because Noah _ruined_ things- and a mother who had to work nineteen hours a day, and then he ended up being a part-time parent to his little sister when said emotionally detached piece of shit walked out on them. So he's never really had the luxury of talking about feelings and shit, because he just had to suck it up and get on with it. But Kurt getting him to talk it out, getting him to figure what the fuck he wanted to say, it helped out, because at least he knew his reasons _why_ and it wasn't just some stupid, pathetic, whiny case of being unwanted. Mostly.

So he gets it out, folds it all up and engages in a nice little make out with Kurt since he's sure he's earned it for actually writing a coherent letter about his fucking feelings. Of course Kurt has to add some more weight to shit. It's not that Puck doesn't want to tell his Ma and Burt, he really, really does. And he sort of wants to tell Rachel and Mercy too -because at least then they won't be hidden at school and Puck doesn't need to fight the urge to just pin Kurt to the lockers and kiss him senseless sometimes. Mostly, Puck's a little worried about reactions -he's not the best kid to date anyone, as much as Burt might like him, he's probably not what Burt would like for Kurt's first boyfriend. And his Ma, well, his Ma _knows _him. The possibility that his mother will throw a fit, because she knows about his past and about his habits, and stop him from dating Kurt in a bid to protect the kid, well that would sting just a bit. Not that he hasn't earned it.

But when Kurt mentions Sarah being gone for the weekend, the same weekend that Burt planned to take his Ma to some better homes show thing in Dayton, well, "I really, really want us to go further than getting off over the clothes. Like, you know, I want, I mean, I'm ready to-" Puck has to just stop, lean his head against Kurt and breath, because yeah, he knows.

"Yeah?" They've been messing around for a good while now, and there have been _feelings_ since the start, Noah can admit that, because it's impossible not to feel something when he's seen Kurt at his most adorable. They were going slow though, and while Noah knew that Kurt wasn't ready, Noah probably had been for a while, just waiting for Kurt to trust him enough or feel enough or want it enough.

"I want to tell Ruth and Dad first." Trying to tell their parents sort of fell by the wayside with the divorce and custody hearing, but it was an important step to take before they got further in their relationship. "So, next weekend, we tell them?"

"Yeah, babe, we tell them." Puck's determined that, whatever the outcome, they'll both have told their parents and their best friends (don't ask him when Berry became his best friend, he doesn't even know himself) about their relationship.

But first, they get called to family court -seriously, he thought that shit was made up, for like television cases or stupid reality shows or whatever. He never actually believed that he'd be sitting in this weird ass white room (who made rooms white these days?) with Burt and Kurt sitting behind him and Sarah and his Ma with Mr Berry and his father across the room with his lawyer. He hates the fucker even more for dragging this out when he's not even going to stick around Lima, so what's the point?

So the judge, this older lady with blonde hair, blue rimmed glasses and rosy cheeks, tells them that while this isn't traditional, the nature of the case made her want to understand the children's point of view. Noah doesn't even know if Sarah understands what's going on.

"Sarah, how old are you?" She asks the question while looking at some piece of paper and Sarah is perched on this seat beside the weird docket place or whatever.

"I'm eight years old." They had her birthday a week after her actual birthday which also served as the date that him and Kurt actually got together. "I'll be nine soon, and then, Mama says I can get a puppy." To Sarah this is just any other day, except she needs to sit in a room and answer questions.

"That's very nice. Puppies are a lot of responsibility. Do you think you'll be able to manage that?"

"Yes ma'am. My brother, he's showed me all about taking care of things, because he has a guitar and you've gotta keep it good. And I know that I'd take care of a puppy, because they're little and they need love. And I can be good like that and take it out and teach it tricks and love it really good." Sarah is dead set on this puppy, and Noah catches this look that Hiram shoots his Ma and he figures that Sarah's talk about the puppy is more than just a puppy. But whatever.

"Sarah, what about your father? Has he taught you how to take care of things?"

"Burt isn't my real dad. He's just like, my stand in dad. Noah says that he's as close to a dad as I need, because he's all epic and stuff. Burt is Kurt's dad, but he wants to be mine and Noah's dad too, and I think he should be."

Sarah is beaming like she just got some prize in school with the judge chick says she can go sit beside her mother again and she just turns to Noah from where she sits and he's still over in the seat he was directed to.

"Mr Puckerman, you've got quite a record here." Shit, they actually let her see his school record? Or was that his actual criminal record from that time he might've got stoned and might've done some really stupid shit to OSU's fountain? "Fights at school, skipping class, insubordinate to teachers. A bit of a problem child, are you?"

"No ma'am, just a bit of an unruly teenager." He can say it, because beyond his fight with Dave and Azimio a week ago, he's been the poster child for good behaviour -mostly because Kurt or Rachel were attached to him practically. And since moving in with Burt and Kurt, his grades have gone up, his attendance has gone up, his GPA is actually above average. She should have all that in her files.

"You're a member of the football team, and the basketball team, you joined the glee club this year and I have a rather colourful note from the school guidance counsellor." Oh, he hit on Miss P. once, that might come back to haunt him. "Your grades have turned around in the last few months, your attendance and overall attitude as well."

"Stability does that, ma'am." He's so fucking polite it hurts, but Rachel gave him this vicious verbal beat down on his manners and how he'd better pull them out his ass or she would knock his head into the nearest wall -he needs to re-evaluate his friendship with her if she's going to get violent.

"And this stability has come from, where?"

"My Ma's boyfriend. Cause we're not scrounging to pay bills, and Ma's not working twenty hours a day to make ends meet, and I'm not playing Dad to my little sister, and there's some semblance of a role model to follow." He knows that she knows how he feels, she's got their little letters, their feelings about the man sitting over to Noah's right, she understand that they don't want anything to do with him.

"And the fight last week, Noah?"

"People were using derogatory terms to describe a friend, my Ma had just told us that our father might get joint custody, I was angry, I lashed out. It's the first time in a year that I've had an altercation at school." And it was his father's fault -that and Azimio's colourful language.

She just nods her head, looking through the paper and notes she's got all over the place, and declares that she'll make her decision and return shortly. Hiram seems to think it looks good, but his Dad is still over there, staring at Sarah like he knows some secret. Noah turns in his seat, as Burt leans over to talk to his Ma and Mr Berry, Noah sort of coaxes Kurt forward.

"I know this isn't ideal, but I think we should tell them now."

"What?" See, it's not ideal, because Kurt sort of planned for them to sit down at the table in the kitchen and explain things, and yes, that would be the civilised way to do things, and Noah knows this, but Puck has things that he needs to take care of and one of them is not letting his Dad have any chance at getting near Sarah so that he can screw her up like he screwed Noah up. It's just never going to happen. And that means Puck has to go with his gut.

"I get that you want to do this a certain way, but please just listen to me this time. We need to tell them _now_." Because God only knows how long the woman will take to decide just who deserves to raise them and if they don't work this right shit could go down and Puck's not having that. He protects his little sister whatever the cost.

"Okay, okay, if you say so." Kurt doesn't look too happy, and Noah swears he'll make it up to him, somehow, but he just needs to do this. "Dad, Ruth, I, Noah and I have something to tell you." They keep it mostly hushed, Kurt getting the attention of the adults and both of them turning to listen and yeah, the kitchen idea would be way better than this but really.

"It's sudden and not the right place, but it just-" Puck shakes his head, "Kurt and me are dating, sort of, in a whole 'we haven't told anyone yet' sort of way, but we're pretty serious and we figured you should know, considering everything that's going on and where we all live and yeah. So, we're together." Kurt reaches out, lacing his fingers through Noah's and it's partially what Puck expected and half what he hoped for and exactly what follows is just how he read things.

See, Noah doesn't remember a lot about his Dad, there are things, these little things that come to him from time to time -like what brand of cigarettes his Dad smoked, like his favourite meal, like the shows he watched on television when he was drunk, like how he'd sneer at Hiram and Leroy Berry at Temple while they doted on little Rachel.

For once, everything sort of snaps together for him; his Dad sees him holding Kurt's hand, the judge walks back into the room, his Ma and Burt just stand there a little shocked and the next thing he hears is his father's voice in a tone he's never forgotten because it was the most common one he heard. Blind hatred.

"What the fuck, are you some kind of fairy? My son ain't no fag, what the hell did you do to him." He's almost sure that he's going to get hit, like he can see it coming, he even tenses for it. Kurt's safe behind the little barrier that comes up to their waists, especially when Burt automatically grips at Kurt's shoulder as Elijah Puckerman advances towards them and past his lawyer, fists clenched and Puck's pretty sure he can take a punch for this, it's worth it.

"_Mr Puckerman,_" that's a tone Puck's heard a lot too. But it stops his Dad dead in his tracks, just as his Ma grabs his arm and pulls him back but he sticks in front of her just in case, and Sarah's left watching it all with wide eyes. "Considering the flagrant disrespect in my court room, and the abhorrent language used, I see no other outcome but to give Ruth Puckerman sole custody of both Noah and Sarah Puckerman and order you, Elijah Puckerman to pay child support benefits in the sum of one hundred and sixty dollars a week. Back dated." There's this look of pure ire in the judge chick's eyes and Noah just watches his Dad's hands clench and unclench while his Ma clings to his arm.

It could've gone better -the whole telling their parents, but it's not exactly a horrible outcome all things considered. If they see a cent of that money, Noah will laugh himself stupid, but at the very least, Sarah won't be subjected to their father, she won't suffer the disappointment of him making his promises and never following through, she'll know Burt as her father figure, or Noah as it -if he's royally screwed up his mother's relationship with Burt he might need to beat himself into a coma- because she deserves the best.

"Have you ever done anything without an explosion?" Kurt asks him as they file out of the building towards the car, his Ma's already said they'll talk about it at home and his father has already stormed off. At least Kurt is still talking to him.

"On occasion, I've been known to do thing with a small pop, but usually that's because of a wet fuse." He's not sure if they'll play this analogy out or not, but it's just nice that Kurt isn't ignoring him in a huff. "You okay?"

"You knew he'd get angry, didn't you. That's why it had to be then."

"I didn't know for sure, it was just an impression he left, back when he was around long enough to leave them." He gives Kurt a small smile, "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to do this right, and that definitely wasn't doing it right. But any chance he had to be around Sarah wasn't worth it."

"Come on, we have a firing squad to go home to."

The fact that his mother hasn't looked at him since they left the court room is worrying. The fact that Burt hasn't said a word makes him anxious. Sarah is just happy that she likes Noah's new girlfriend, and then they have to explain the gender terms and how they're both boyfriends while she argues that one of them needs to be the girlfriend and Kurt turns around and says that since Noah is the emotionally needy one, he's the girl. Burt almost smirks when Noah just agrees.

Any sense of calm just disappears when they get home; Sarah is told to go play upstairs, Noah and Kurt are ordered into the kitchen -and at least they get the kitchen for part of this, right? Burt sits down while Noah's Ma starts fiddling with things in the kitchen -the kettle, the fridge, the oven, the microwave, eventually she runs out of things and just turns to stare at Noah like he's a total stranger. It's not a nice feeling.

"How long?" Kurt's staring at his hands.

"Since Sarah's birthday." It's not technically true, because there was the kiss a week before that, and the feelings before that, but they actually look at Sarah's birthday as being when they started seeing each other. "We ah, we just, it just happened, Ma." Because Puck wasn't into Kurt before, really. He wasn't. But that whole 'getting to know people' thing was actually a legit good way to find someone to date and not just have sex with.

"And everything else?" Noah knows this means the girls at school and the pool cleaning cougars and the few teachers.

"Done." Long done, over and done. "Ma, it's just Kurt. Just me and Kurt and it's a little sudden maybe, but it's serious." The problem with not really having a solid line between friend and child with his mother is that she knows so fucking much that it's hard for her to really see him as her son all the time. Because she knows that he's fucked the cougars and she knows that he slept with Quinn while she was dating Finn -she knows that's the reason he doesn't hang out with Finn any more too.

"I swear to your grandmother, boy, you are my son, and I love you, but if you break his heart I will tan your hide so hard you won't be able to move for a month." As far as his mother freaking out goes, it's pretty tame.

"Dad?"

"Am I happy? No, no I'm not. Because you boys didn't tell us, and we've been pretty trusting. But, you are both old enough to make these decisions. But what Ruth stands true. You two need to understand the position we're in." And they do, or Noah does at least, he's pretty sure Kurt does too because Kurt's always been pretty damn smart. It's awkward because Ruth cares about Kurt and Burt cares about Noah -it's true, Noah understands this. So yes, if something were to happen, it would make things awkward. But really, Noah isn't intending on letting anything happen.

He's pretty sure he's in love with Kurt.

"Dad, really, I don't think there's anything to worry about. Noah and I," Kurt turns to smile at him, and for a blinding second it's like he knows, like he can just read Puck's mind and get in there and _know_, "we're good." They are so, so good.

As far as explosive declarations go, it's fairly tame. Sarah comes back downstairs with a tiara that she just planks on Noah's head to declare him Kurt's princess and then goes away again.

"I vote no more Lucky Charms for Sarah, clearly there is LSD in there."

Telling Mercedes and Rachel is more dramatic than telling their parents; Mercedes stops talking to Kurt for the first half of the day, because he kept the secret for so long, Rachel glares at Noah after warning Kurt to 'take care of him' and then she demands to know why he never told her before. By lunch time though all they want are details, except Noah and Kurt have pointed out that they'd like to keep this private, like not letting the whole school know, at least until they know what's happening at home.

Getting Rachel Berry to agree to keep a secret is like getting Brittany to ace physics. It's pretty damn impressive.

"So, it's not the weekend." Kurt sort of lies out on his bed, while Noah is on the floor, feet up on the end of Kurt's bed and the bedroom door is wide open.

"Kurt, dearest prince of mine, do you honestly believe that Ma and Burt are seriously going away for the weekend not while Sarah is at her party?" He'll point it out again, his mother knows him, and the only reason he got left at home without Sarah the last time was because she thought Kurt was a calming influence. Now she knows that Puck wants to tap that ass, there's almost no way she's going to leave.

Burt probably feels the exact same and Noah is definitely gearing up for a serious case of blue balls.

"Dad's already booked their hotel room."

"You know, realistically, I think Burt wants to go. They just got Ma's divorce through, the stress of the custody hearing is over, they likely want to get their boots knocking," (he's still not a hundred percent down with knowing what his Ma and Burt get up to, but it's all relative really) "You think he'll still want to go?"

Kurt's too busy plugging his ears with his fingers and singing 'la la la' loudly over Puck's suggestion. But maybe there's still hope for their weekend plans after all.


End file.
